Big Mistake

So on the days when I need to remind myself of all the good things I've got going for me because I feel as if nothing good is happening, i like to peruse the collection of blogs and videos of people who have undergone what I will in just a few months. However, on this particular night, i seem to have made a mistake, because while browsing youtube I came across a video that portrayed a live freaking procedure of a Lefort 1 Osteotomy, which is just one of the parts that compose my surgery. Watching the video was something close to a SAW movie and it took me all of twenty minutes to watch an 8 minute video, which left me shivering and shaking at the end.
I know it wasn't all that wise of me to do that to myself, however, for some reason, as scary and daunting as it was, it was also very intriguing; I could not NOT watch it, and  even though I'm the tiniest bit scared now, I'm still as every bit as determined to get through this. In fact, maybe, in the long run, that experience will be somewhat comforting knowing how it will kind of go down.

Below is the a fore mentioned video
it is not for the light of heart and if you cannot handle gore and blood, I highly suggest you opt out, however, it is there for your viewing pleasure if you so please to watch it.

UPdate: We emailed the surgery schedule coordinator so hopefully we can FINALLY get a concrete set date as soon as she emails us back :DDDD