Throwing caution to the wind [update]

     So it is literally T-30 days until the surgery and I'd like to say that I have taken a habit of being reckless when it comes to eating. It no longer matters  if it will hurt in the long run or not; if I like it, I'll eat . Of course decisions like these never fail to bite be in the butt later when im writhing  in pain from eating a whole steak, but I like living in the moment, and the moment that steak hits my plate, I'm going to inhale it. I'm not proud to say it, but despite the fact that with almost every meal that I've eaten, I've gorged myself to the point of no return, that renders me unable to move or breathe, I've still lost some pounds; which although I would normally be jumping for joy, there is a great deal of weight loss that is to be expected in the time that is used to recuperate, and my surgeon has been urging me  that it is essential to gain a few pounds beforehand.
 Along with this notion that I can  eat anything I want to for the next month, my friends and family are helping me complete my bucket list [here]. ANd IT'S SO FUN. BUCKET LISTS ARE GREAT. They literally give you a reason to do/eat things you normally never would; to step outside of your comfort zone; to do whatever you want; they remind you to enjoy life and the little things it has to offer, even if it's as trivial as eating fries from your favorite wing joint or a whole bag of your favorite chips or having lunch with the person you love.
I'm going to have to make a REAL bucket list after Hell Month is over :)
     See, my goal here is that, as much as I love food, a month from now, when I'm swollen, and wired shut, and my family is feasting on a buffet of chicken wings or shrimp or anything that makes me want to salivate even the tiniest bit, I'll look at it, and be automatically turned off by the memory of the taste and the feeling that i got after eating so much of it I couldn't move.

there is still too much to be done in the next 3 weeks and it's all really overwhelming but at the same time it gives me something to push through all the stress and horrible feelings I've had recently.
There will be a TO DO list up shortly  to keep track of everything that needs to  be done in immediate preparation for the big day[s]

Shout out to the mothers out there. I know that none of this would have been possible without mine and I am grateful for everything she's done for me. 

we celebrated with a barbeque in the back yard and enjoying the beautiful weather outside with the family :D

I also successfully crossed out bbq on my list.