Anywhoo, focusing on my initial reason for writing this blog. I've been plagued by a list of tantalizing fears as of late that correlate to my far but hopefully possible surgery
This surgery comes with its fair shares of risks, which is a fact that doesn't really throw me off guard because I indulge frequently in watching medical dramas; which doesn't really say much about my medical experience or knowledge, but it has taught me, if anything, that every surgery, no matter how small, comes with its own set of risks. I've also spent my time reading other people's blogs who often highlight the lists of risks and such and such but It was so surreal sitting in the waiting room to visit the surgeon on that very first day with a thick packet of things to fear. The many packets of information given to me were something not to be dealt with lightly. This Surgery was not to be taken lightly. A plethora of things could go wrong; or not even really go wrong but could follow as a consequence (good or bad) for following through with this life changing surgery
- A relapse; or a tendency for the re-positioned bone to return to their original position which entails a followup surgery
- Diminished sense of smell
- A drastic change in cosmetic appearance
- loss of feeling, pain or tingling, numbness in my chin, cheeks, lips gums, tongue, or teeth (which occurs in a significant amount of patients) that may be long lasting or permanent. This is caused by the likely cutting and severing of nerves while re-positioning the jaw.
- Possible decreased function of muscles of facial expression (common) will be long lasting or permanent
- Sinuses will be affected which might need a followup sinus surgery to correct any breathing or sinus problems
- Change of position in jaw joints which may or may not resolve the discomforts caused by TMJD [which i suffer from]
I know that these doctors prepare you for the worst so you fully understand what you're walking into and what you're risking.
I asked my brother [27] the other day about the chances of anesthesia awakening [which is exactly what it sounds like; you basically wake up in the middle of surgery] as it was something that i was aware of as a highly improbable outcome, however it still scared me to think that it was possible even in the slightest of chances; And as i looked to him for comfort, his response left me perturbed and fearful. He said, " You shouldn't be afraid of waking up in the middle of surgery; what you should be afraid of is never waking up at all" Which scared me so much i promised myself never to ask him questions regarding my surgery again.
I think the thing that scares me most; other than not waking up; is that I wont be able to feel, which may not mean a lot to some people but feeling is important to me; even in the most insignificant part of my body. Also the loss of facial muscle function seems to scare me too because I'm a very expressive person and i like to do a lot of expressing with my face.
But i'm sure whatever the consequences that follow will be worth all the pros that I look forward to in the end. I'm sure my friends wont miss my super special silly derp faces I always tend to frequently grace them with.
Haha Ta-ta for now. :)
Pictures for those of you who are more visual than others
these pictures were taken during the holidays of 2013
Christmas Decorating Feat. Pancakes, my cat. Do you notice how my Jaw deviates quite a bit to the side? Very annoying when taking selfies... or pictures in general.
Post Ortho appt. im pretty sure in this picture the pain hasn't KICKED in yet. Lol, get it; "kicked", cause it almost literally feels like you've got kicked in the face?
aaaahhh.
Red and green cause I emanate Christmas Spirit
No comments:
Post a Comment
What's up, What's happenin'